A month and a half ago I did what I dreamt of doing, I jumped out of my comfort zone into unknown waters, and accompanying that jump was this storm of feelings, emotions, and thoughts that I was battling with and trying to comprehend. Among all this craziness, I, in a moment, had that humbling experience that silenced everything. Death crossed my mind. Death with it’s apprehensions, fear and helplessness had crossed my mind multiple times before, especially when I read about young people dying for various reasons, but it had never had the impact it had today.
I was both scared and depressed. Scared becasue I knew it was reality and depressed becasue it brutally burst my bubble. The bubble in the center of which I resided, surrounded by all that makes me who I am. but it burst, becasue it all seemed insignificant, unimportant in the magnanimity of death. Death is like a full stop. It sometimes comes in the end of a beautifull sentence with all it’s cohesion, errors, emotions and structure, a life well spent, or more than often comes in the end of an incomplete sentence, a life never lived. Nevertheless, we all die, but time and this world keeps moving on, we just vanish, leaving behind unquantifiable memories, maybe. but we vanish, and all that we had protected and taken care of, our thoughts, ideas, opinions, goals, ambitions vanish with us, making not an iota of a difference in the natural order of things. A mere sentence in a book of uncountable pages.
It’s all pretty depressing but it also brings a moment of clarity. We all have goals, expectations of how life should turn out, but in the end we have very little control. We believe that, as muslims we all do, but believing in it and living by that belief are two different things. If we believe and live by that belief, it is freedom but if we believe and do not live by that belief, it is tension/friction. Cause, when we live by that belief that everything is in Allah’s hands and we have only some control, we pay attention to the finer details, to all the right things in life, we pay attention to relations, we pay attention to the good we do, we pay attention to our contribution in this world and then we thank Allah, we thank Allah for what we have, what we’ve become and what we’ve achieved because at the end of the day we are in far better place then alot of other people and that is not the least because we’re more important. because, remember, at the end of the day we’re all trying to construct a readable sentence before the full stop is placed.
This for me is the song of the moment, don’t forget to switch on the translation,
Peace and may God bless all!
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